The pain behind my eyeballs
the spike driving through the top of my head
the way my skin burns in the water
the way my skin shrinks as it dries, pulling tighter and tighter
the pain in my left eyelid
the fact that typing is difficult because my hands hurt so much
the pain running from my right elbow to the ring/pinky fingers in my right hand
the pain in both of my lower legs
the pain in my lower back
the stiffness in my hips as I walk
my aching toes and my tingling feet
MY SKIN
the way my mind sometimes refuses to work
and the way my mind sometimes refuses to stop working
the pain
the heartache
the loss
Danielle & Tara
I miss you guys
cats on counters
cats on tables with food
cats in beds
the way that anything that makes contact with my lower legs creates a sore
my inability to secure a living
my sudden dependence on others
my wanton desires
the way I do things to excess
my poisoned mind
the fact that I have failed twice to end it
my feelings for others well being
chunks of my ears falling off
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