Working toward Happiness: found at bottom of glass

Complete Isolation, Total Desolation.

Another weekend, another Kid, another Trip to WDW

Now WDW allows for the planning if FastPasses from this Apple device, up to 30 days in advance. 

I have booked FP+ for my party of four to Disney Studios: Rock & Roller Coaster, Tower of Terror & Lights, Cameras, Action! Stunt Spectacular. 

Weird. I'm older. Fatter. More inferm. Poorer. More disturbed. And yet,

Things still remain the same. Weird. 

Ward Day 93

One week until the boy will have been with me 100 days. 

I wonder what kind of long term impact I will have on this Kid. 

He has gone for a home visit. This got him out of te van ride. He will return after football practice tomorrow. 

His brother has a playoff game this week. With the limit on my hours at GW as they taper me down to -0-, I limited my availabilty on Wed to 6pm for that game. 

The Kid's Dad will be out of town (Las Vegas) and unable to take him. 

I paid off my last medical bill on Sat (except Remicade, which will have a balance excess of 10K after the billing for the last tx posts). So the loss of GW will mostly hit me in areas such as my newly installed cable. 

Mentally, I am down, but this time it is different. Resolution to my station in life. It is allowing for more sleep (good), but less production (bad). 

Solid depression is very different from Mania, Bipolar and the ultra-rapid cycling. Of course, there is more stability. No 'moodiness.' But in a constant state of down. It stinks. 

I find no joy in eating. Whether quality or quantity. 

Even Pepsi no longer makes me Happy. 

I'm drinking a Yuengling right now. Nothing. 

Childless for a night

My Ward is on a home visit. He will return this AM. 

I slept some last night (12:30-3:30). 

Today I will take my Ward & Melanie Rondeau to the beach. 

Kathryn is too ill to join us. He'll fish; maybe she'll surf. It's going to be cold down there this morn: 61 @ 9am. 

I'll be reading Sociology research to try to help my niece with a research methods project for UNF. 

Joel is at his duty station. 

Kathleen has made it to Air Force basic. 

After a year without it, I have cable. 

The new normal

Me & the Kid. Out and about. 

1st sem, 4.11 GPA. 

Since then, the trouble, then a slide. 

4thQ has started. Last chance to make good. 

I'm eating at the Waffle House. Just so the Kid can see his brother. 

No alcohol. Before 1am. What am I doing here? Oh yeah, the Kid. 

I had a BLT. Not the worst thing I ever ate.  The server is both attentive and friendly. 

I'm trying to convince the brother to spend time with the Kid tomorrow. He's busy. Has his own obligations. Maybe. 

Otherwise, another evening in the van for the Kid. Not the best thing for him. 

Chelsea tonight (1st time in over 1 year)

How weird has my life been. 

I finally decided to enter the real world. 

I will watch Chelsea Handler tonight. First time in more then a year. I miss watching Chelsea much more then I miss sex, but quite a bit less then I miss (her) touch. 

Food is no longer brining me enjoyment. 

I have to send box that gives me baseball back to seller tomorrow. It simply doesn't work. 

No sex-no touch-no food-no baseball. At least I'll have Chelsea.