I lost a friend this month. I currently have 8 (now 7) friends; to lose one is a great loss. I am on the verge of losing another; not to death, but to life.
My current situation is deteriorating. Given the choice of cats on counters, tables and in pantries or me eating food prepared here, you chose cats on counters, tables and in pantries.
Oh, well.
Yesterday I made soup; today a frozen pizza. otherwise I have eaten nothing prepared here. Even these two items, I had to watch over like a hawk. The cats have no problem walking in food stuffs.
Today you quoted one of the very first things I said to you: "You will tire of me."
In quoting it, you alluded to the fact that you have.
It stung a little, but what else could I expect?
Current schedule is to move my stuff out in the beginning of Sept, moving it into storage. Beyond that, I realize that there is little chance of repair.
It was always up to you to make this work. You always said you would figure it out, how to make it work. Maybe it was just impossible. Maybe it was more work than you were willing to put in. Either way, you failed.
I am heading about back to where I was when this part began, joints stiffening, skin reddening. Mind poisoned. Heart broken.
Oct 31, 2011, 19th anniversary of this thing that controls my life. 19 years to have lived with a sub-human life. I need relief soon. Soon. "When the end comes, it comes quickly." ~Joe Vautrin, Jr. In Memory of Tara L. K. Allen, Nov 9, 1969- Aug 6, 2011.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
"Manipulation"
Remember when I couldn't wait to hear from you again?
Sweet melodious sounds have turned to a cacophony.
Your smiles have become scowls.
Your entreaties have become directives.
Playing has become work and
working with you has become non-existent.
You take advantage of my situation,
almost as if to make yourself feel better about yours.
(Or so it seems).
What is the standard accusation?
It escapes me, presently.
One word. You usually use it when any type of disagreement
Turns to a debate that you quickly find yourself losing.
I wish I could remember the word.
I heard it from you no less than 3 times today.
It means something like twisting or using someone else's words
In a manner other than they intended.
Oh, what is that word?
I guess I can wait until you use it again tomorrow.
I wish I was not sick.
But if I was not sick I would not be here.
You rail against my mental illness.
You despise my frailty.
But it is this deficiency in me that was
Allowing any of this to go on...
I have been forced to delete the texts and voicemails
from earlier in the year.
The ones in January & February in which you pleaded with me to return to you.
And return I did.
Now? Then I left, May, realizing it was not a good situation.
Then you again pleaded with me to return.
And again I returned.
Now you are telling me to leave...
Quite the turn of events.
So I must plan. I must investigate.
I must gather myself and my belongings.
Change will be good.
This stress is killing me.
And not in the way I could accept.
Thank you for your kindness (when you were kind).
I am going to pretend that your unkindness was somehow my fault.
That way, I am always going to remember you as kind.
And fault myself for the demise.
I will start removing stuff in September.
I will try to leave between Oct 4-7.
I do not have any good plan yet.
But I will come up with one.
I know you need a bigger aquarium.
I know your son wants his birthday @ WDW.
So I will help deal with that.
But no more plans. No more promises.
Sweet melodious sounds have turned to a cacophony.
Your smiles have become scowls.
Your entreaties have become directives.
Playing has become work and
working with you has become non-existent.
You take advantage of my situation,
almost as if to make yourself feel better about yours.
(Or so it seems).
What is the standard accusation?
It escapes me, presently.
One word. You usually use it when any type of disagreement
Turns to a debate that you quickly find yourself losing.
I wish I could remember the word.
I heard it from you no less than 3 times today.
It means something like twisting or using someone else's words
In a manner other than they intended.
Oh, what is that word?
I guess I can wait until you use it again tomorrow.
I wish I was not sick.
But if I was not sick I would not be here.
You rail against my mental illness.
You despise my frailty.
But it is this deficiency in me that was
Allowing any of this to go on...
I have been forced to delete the texts and voicemails
from earlier in the year.
The ones in January & February in which you pleaded with me to return to you.
And return I did.
Now? Then I left, May, realizing it was not a good situation.
Then you again pleaded with me to return.
And again I returned.
Now you are telling me to leave...
Quite the turn of events.
So I must plan. I must investigate.
I must gather myself and my belongings.
Change will be good.
This stress is killing me.
And not in the way I could accept.
Thank you for your kindness (when you were kind).
I am going to pretend that your unkindness was somehow my fault.
That way, I am always going to remember you as kind.
And fault myself for the demise.
I will start removing stuff in September.
I will try to leave between Oct 4-7.
I do not have any good plan yet.
But I will come up with one.
I know you need a bigger aquarium.
I know your son wants his birthday @ WDW.
So I will help deal with that.
But no more plans. No more promises.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
The Employment Contract
The Employment Contract
Date of Employment Commencement: ___August 1, 2011________
This document serves as a childcare employment contract between
XXXXXXXXXX and XXXXXXXXXX, hereafter referred to as “The Employer,” and Joseph Vautrin, Jr., hereafter referred to as “The Au Pair.”
IT IS AGREED, that The Employer will employ The Au Pair according to the terms and conditions outlined herein.
1 Terms of Employment
1.1
Hours
During School Days, The Au Pair is employed to work in the The Employer’s home according to the following schedule:
++++++++ Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
Start-End___6-8____6-8_____ 6-8_____ 6-8____ 6-8__ 6-6____ off
Start-End___2-7____ 2-7_____ 2-7_____ 2-4____ 2-7___XX___ XX
NOTE: Au Pair must be on call M-F 8-2 during school days. Weekend off will be by mutual agreement each month, or 1st weekend of the month.
On Fall School Holidays, The Au Pair will be scheduled as follows:
Labor Day, off Sat, Sun & Monday
Thanksgiving, off Monday before-Tuesday after
Christmas/New Years, off from two days before Christmas Eve to Two days After New Years Day.
Please Note: Au Pairs may not work more than 10 hours a day, or 45 hours a week. They must have at least 1.5 full consecutive days off a week and they must have at least 1 free weekend a month.
1.2
Children
The children under care of The Au Pair during working hours are listed below:
First Name: Xxxxxxx
Last Name: Xxxxx
Birth Date: 2/22/2003
First Name: XxxxxxxXXxxx
Last Name:Xxxxx
Birth Date: 9/27/2005
First Name:
Last Name:
Birth Date:
Please Note: Au Pairs may not care for a child under the age of 2 without at least 200 hours of documented infant care experience. A parent or responsible adult must be present when an au pair is caring for a child under three months. Special needs children may only be placed in the care of an au pair with specifically identified experience, skills, or training in caring for children with special needs.
2 Duties
The Au Pair will be required to attend to the following additional childcare related duties during work hours:
List Duties Below:
Please Note: These duties may include, but are not limited to, washing children’s laundry, straightening children’s rooms, bathing children, and cleaning children’s play areas, Kitchen cleaning, dishes, assisting in general organizing.
3 Remuneration
3.1
Salary
The Employer agrees to pay The Au Pair a salary of $235.00 (Slightly less than current weekly US Au Pair Salary of $197.75 *30%). This salary will be paid once a month, or according to the following schedule:
Pay day will be second or third Friday of the month.
3.2
Deductions
The Employer agrees to pay the Au Pair’s full wages with no deductions.
4 Accommodation
4.1
Bedroom
The Au Pair will have a private bedroom in The Employer’s home. This bedroom will be:
XX_ on a separate floor from the family bedrooms
___ on the same floor as the family bedrooms
4.2
Bathroom
The Au Pair will have access to bathroom facilities. These facilities will be:
___ shared with children
___ shared with other family member ____________
___ private
XX_ en suite
4.3 Meals
The employer will provide 3 meals a day to the au pair.
5 Privileges
5.1
Car
The Au Pair (will not) have access to a car. If access to a car is allowed, the car will be:
___ Private
___ Shared
___ Available for use after hours according to the following schedule:
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
The Au Pair may provide own vehicle.
Car Make/Model/Year ___________/_______/_______.
The Au Pair will have or will obtain an appropriate driving license before operating a vehicle.
5.2
Phone Privileges
The Au Pair will have access to a phone according to the following schedule:
NO RESTRICTION
+++++++Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
Start
End
Start
End
Start
End
Long distance calls are to be paid for by (The Employer).
5.3
Computer Privileges
The Employer will provide internet and printing access to the Au Pair.
5.4
Additional Privileges
The following additional privileges will be included as part of this agreement:
__Storage of personal items in space in garage, tidy storage of personal items in private bedroom. Access to wireless internet and printing privileges. Driveway parking. _____
6 Restrictions
6.1
Curfew
The Au Pair (WILL NOT) be subject to a curfew. If The Au Pair is subject to a curfew, the curfew schedule will be as follows:
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
Curfew
6.2
Additional Restrictions
The following additional restrictions will be included as part of this agreement:
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
7 Vacation
The Employer has read and understands the regulations as set out by the Department of State which requires two weeks of paid holiday, 1.5 consecutive days off per week, and 1 full weekend off a month for The Au Pair. Vacations may be taken at any mutually agreed upon time during the year and are not available on an accumulation basis.
8 Sick Leave
The Au Pair may take sick leave when necessary. In the event of illness, The Au Pair must notify The Employer as soon as possible before the beginning of the next work day of The Au Pair’s impending absence. The Employer may not lower The Au Pair’s salary in response to The Au Pair’s sick leave.
The Au Pair understands that excessive or abusive use of the sick policy may result in termination of this contract or mediation of this contract.
9 Benefits Offered by Expert AuPair:
Not Applicable. Au Pair Responsible for personal health insurance, as well as any motor vehicle insurance should Au Pair maintain a vehicle.
10
Confidentiality
The Au Pair shall not during his/her employment with The Employer, or at any time thereafter (otherwise than in the proper course of her duties or as is required by law) without the prior written approval of The Employer divulge or disclose any information which, by reason of its character or the circumstances or manner of its disclosure, is evidently confidential to The Employer.
11 Disciplinary Procedures
Reasons which might give rise to the need for measures under the Disciplinary & Capability Procedure include the following:
(a) causing a disruptive influence in the household
(b) job incompetence
(c) conduct inside or outside normal working hours prejudicial to the interests or reputation of The Employer .
(d) unreliability in time keeping or attendance
(e) failure to comply with instructions and procedures
(f) loss of driver license
(g) breach of confidentiality
In the event of The Employer needing to take disciplinary action the procedure shall, save in cases involving gross misconduct, be:
Firstly Verbal Warning
Secondly Written Warning
Thirdly Suspension without pay
12 Termination
Termination of this agreement requires written notification with a full explanation and must be submitted in writing to Au Pair. Both parties must give the standard two weeks notice of termination.
Fees or charges owed but not reconciled by the Au Pair may be deducted from the final paycheck.
13 Addendums
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
14 General Terms
This contract shall be construed in accordance with and governed by the laws of the United States of America and the state of Florida. The parties submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the justice system of the United States of America and the state of Florida.
I/We have read this contract, understand the terms and conditions, and agree to abide by them as witnessed by our signatures below. I/We have interviewed The Au Pair over the phone and agreed to these conditions with The Au Pair before her/his arrival.
________________________________________
The Employer Signature
Date
________________________________________
The Employer Signature
Date
I, The Au Pair, have read this contract, understand the terms and conditions, and agree to abide by them as witnessed by my signature below. I have spoken with The Employer via telephone and agreed verbally to these conditions of my employment. I have read the The Employer’s application.
________________________________________
The Au Pair Signature
Date
Date of Employment Commencement: ___August 1, 2011________
This document serves as a childcare employment contract between
XXXXXXXXXX and XXXXXXXXXX, hereafter referred to as “The Employer,” and Joseph Vautrin, Jr., hereafter referred to as “The Au Pair.”
IT IS AGREED, that The Employer will employ The Au Pair according to the terms and conditions outlined herein.
1 Terms of Employment
1.1
Hours
During School Days, The Au Pair is employed to work in the The Employer’s home according to the following schedule:
++++++++ Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
Start-End___6-8____6-8_____ 6-8_____ 6-8____ 6-8__ 6-6____ off
Start-End___2-7____ 2-7_____ 2-7_____ 2-4____ 2-7___XX___ XX
NOTE: Au Pair must be on call M-F 8-2 during school days. Weekend off will be by mutual agreement each month, or 1st weekend of the month.
On Fall School Holidays, The Au Pair will be scheduled as follows:
Labor Day, off Sat, Sun & Monday
Thanksgiving, off Monday before-Tuesday after
Christmas/New Years, off from two days before Christmas Eve to Two days After New Years Day.
Please Note: Au Pairs may not work more than 10 hours a day, or 45 hours a week. They must have at least 1.5 full consecutive days off a week and they must have at least 1 free weekend a month.
1.2
Children
The children under care of The Au Pair during working hours are listed below:
First Name: Xxxxxxx
Last Name: Xxxxx
Birth Date: 2/22/2003
First Name: XxxxxxxXXxxx
Last Name:Xxxxx
Birth Date: 9/27/2005
First Name:
Last Name:
Birth Date:
Please Note: Au Pairs may not care for a child under the age of 2 without at least 200 hours of documented infant care experience. A parent or responsible adult must be present when an au pair is caring for a child under three months. Special needs children may only be placed in the care of an au pair with specifically identified experience, skills, or training in caring for children with special needs.
2 Duties
The Au Pair will be required to attend to the following additional childcare related duties during work hours:
List Duties Below:
Please Note: These duties may include, but are not limited to, washing children’s laundry, straightening children’s rooms, bathing children, and cleaning children’s play areas, Kitchen cleaning, dishes, assisting in general organizing.
3 Remuneration
3.1
Salary
The Employer agrees to pay The Au Pair a salary of $235.00 (Slightly less than current weekly US Au Pair Salary of $197.75 *30%). This salary will be paid once a month, or according to the following schedule:
Pay day will be second or third Friday of the month.
3.2
Deductions
The Employer agrees to pay the Au Pair’s full wages with no deductions.
4 Accommodation
4.1
Bedroom
The Au Pair will have a private bedroom in The Employer’s home. This bedroom will be:
XX_ on a separate floor from the family bedrooms
___ on the same floor as the family bedrooms
4.2
Bathroom
The Au Pair will have access to bathroom facilities. These facilities will be:
___ shared with children
___ shared with other family member ____________
___ private
XX_ en suite
4.3 Meals
The employer will provide 3 meals a day to the au pair.
5 Privileges
5.1
Car
The Au Pair (will not) have access to a car. If access to a car is allowed, the car will be:
___ Private
___ Shared
___ Available for use after hours according to the following schedule:
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
The Au Pair may provide own vehicle.
Car Make/Model/Year ___________/_______/_______.
The Au Pair will have or will obtain an appropriate driving license before operating a vehicle.
5.2
Phone Privileges
The Au Pair will have access to a phone according to the following schedule:
NO RESTRICTION
+++++++Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
Start
End
Start
End
Start
End
Long distance calls are to be paid for by (The Employer).
5.3
Computer Privileges
The Employer will provide internet and printing access to the Au Pair.
5.4
Additional Privileges
The following additional privileges will be included as part of this agreement:
__Storage of personal items in space in garage, tidy storage of personal items in private bedroom. Access to wireless internet and printing privileges. Driveway parking. _____
6 Restrictions
6.1
Curfew
The Au Pair (WILL NOT) be subject to a curfew. If The Au Pair is subject to a curfew, the curfew schedule will be as follows:
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
Curfew
6.2
Additional Restrictions
The following additional restrictions will be included as part of this agreement:
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
7 Vacation
The Employer has read and understands the regulations as set out by the Department of State which requires two weeks of paid holiday, 1.5 consecutive days off per week, and 1 full weekend off a month for The Au Pair. Vacations may be taken at any mutually agreed upon time during the year and are not available on an accumulation basis.
8 Sick Leave
The Au Pair may take sick leave when necessary. In the event of illness, The Au Pair must notify The Employer as soon as possible before the beginning of the next work day of The Au Pair’s impending absence. The Employer may not lower The Au Pair’s salary in response to The Au Pair’s sick leave.
The Au Pair understands that excessive or abusive use of the sick policy may result in termination of this contract or mediation of this contract.
9 Benefits Offered by Expert AuPair:
Not Applicable. Au Pair Responsible for personal health insurance, as well as any motor vehicle insurance should Au Pair maintain a vehicle.
10
Confidentiality
The Au Pair shall not during his/her employment with The Employer, or at any time thereafter (otherwise than in the proper course of her duties or as is required by law) without the prior written approval of The Employer divulge or disclose any information which, by reason of its character or the circumstances or manner of its disclosure, is evidently confidential to The Employer.
11 Disciplinary Procedures
Reasons which might give rise to the need for measures under the Disciplinary & Capability Procedure include the following:
(a) causing a disruptive influence in the household
(b) job incompetence
(c) conduct inside or outside normal working hours prejudicial to the interests or reputation of The Employer .
(d) unreliability in time keeping or attendance
(e) failure to comply with instructions and procedures
(f) loss of driver license
(g) breach of confidentiality
In the event of The Employer needing to take disciplinary action the procedure shall, save in cases involving gross misconduct, be:
Firstly Verbal Warning
Secondly Written Warning
Thirdly Suspension without pay
12 Termination
Termination of this agreement requires written notification with a full explanation and must be submitted in writing to Au Pair. Both parties must give the standard two weeks notice of termination.
Fees or charges owed but not reconciled by the Au Pair may be deducted from the final paycheck.
13 Addendums
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
14 General Terms
This contract shall be construed in accordance with and governed by the laws of the United States of America and the state of Florida. The parties submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the justice system of the United States of America and the state of Florida.
I/We have read this contract, understand the terms and conditions, and agree to abide by them as witnessed by our signatures below. I/We have interviewed The Au Pair over the phone and agreed to these conditions with The Au Pair before her/his arrival.
________________________________________
The Employer Signature
Date
________________________________________
The Employer Signature
Date
I, The Au Pair, have read this contract, understand the terms and conditions, and agree to abide by them as witnessed by my signature below. I have spoken with The Employer via telephone and agreed verbally to these conditions of my employment. I have read the The Employer’s application.
________________________________________
The Au Pair Signature
Date
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