"Manipulation"

Remember when I couldn't wait to hear from you again?
Sweet melodious sounds have turned to a cacophony.

Your smiles have become scowls.
Your entreaties have become directives.

Playing has become work and
working with you has become non-existent.

You take advantage of my situation,
almost as if to make yourself feel better about yours.

(Or so it seems).

What is the standard accusation?
It escapes me, presently.

One word. You usually use it when any type of disagreement
Turns to a debate that you quickly find yourself losing.

I wish I could remember the word.
I heard it from you no less than 3 times today.

It means something like twisting or using someone else's words
In a manner other than they intended.

Oh, what is that word?
I guess I can wait until you use it again tomorrow.

I wish I was not sick.
But if I was not sick I would not be here.

You rail against my mental illness.
You despise my frailty.

But it is this deficiency in me that was
Allowing any of this to go on...

I have been forced to delete the texts and voicemails
from earlier in the year.

The ones in January & February in which you pleaded with me to return to you.
And return I did.

Now? Then I left, May, realizing it was not a good situation.
Then you again pleaded with me to return.

And again I returned.
Now you are telling me to leave...

Quite the turn of events.
So I must plan. I must investigate.

I must gather myself and my belongings.
Change will be good.

This stress is killing me.
And not in the way I could accept.

Thank you for your kindness (when you were kind).
I am going to pretend that your unkindness was somehow my fault.

That way, I am always going to remember you as kind.
And fault myself for the demise.

I will start removing stuff in September.
I will try to leave between Oct 4-7.

I do not have any good plan yet.
But I will come up with one.

I know you need a bigger aquarium.
I know your son wants his birthday @ WDW.

So I will help deal with that.
But no more plans. No more promises.