Moon rise, Sun rise in the Nation's Oldest City

Here I sit in one of my favorite positions~ on the beach. I have not had many Full Moon viewings in recent months, and generally am not a sunrise enthusiast. Today, I got to watch the crescent moon (waning) rise, in between the Venus-Mars-Jupiter triumvirate(?). In any case, it certainly would be described (by cosmologists) as a conjunction.

I recently was studying the big bang theory (BBT) and the ever expanding universe. It is interesting to me that when noted scientists 'stumble' on new principles (Einstein and Planck here) they try to re-work their findings to fit the existing scientific thought. E=mc2, Einstein tried to find some co-efficient to fit his findings into the solid state theory of the day, rather then the ever expanding universe that we have now come to realize exists!

But there is the common misconception that BBT is a single event, that Boom, then things developed. BBT is an ongoing situation...

As I consider these notions in the most simplistic of forms (since I do not have sufficient math background, something that I regret almost weekly), I wonder, what does it matter? I am like two steps from living on the street. I am constantly plagued by thoughts of death, of an ending. I exist in darkness. So why worry about cosmos research of the last 100 years?

And yet I am constantly drawn to read this stuff. Why? What impact is quanta and the uncertainty principle having on my life? Intriguing, but what can it do to heal this skin, these joints?

I am responding to the newest drug, Stelara, rather quickly. I had been developing patches on my elbows and knees that seem to be thinning on a hourly basis.

I am sleeping 3-6 hours a night in 2-4 hour intervals. Mania seems to be subsiding as this sleep is coming daily.

The frequency of intense headaches has increased. I still feel the constant vice around the circumference of my head; the pressure points, mid skull and the eyes pushing out have been the main problems.

I have been very anal about the Glucose levels and the use of insulin. I have been avg closer to 140 (as opposed to 350+). But I have noticed a rapid gain in weight. I am currently back to 300+ and rising. Yuck.

I am visiting with my parents, my niece in the Nation's Oldest City. I have been glad to be visiting the beach. I miss my playmate, which is stupid.

Chartless, I do not know how I am going to get there as I do not know where I am going.

If I am going to remain an ongoing concern, I need a plan.