Day 2

Today had a tough ending. I got into a conversation with my mother about the finality of the situation and the fact that I've gone off Remicade (and all meds). I explained to her that thanks to Lisa, Jackie and Dr. Fleisher, the ending I should have had in 2010 has begun now.  Again I was given extra time for someone's benefit (this time Lisa did the rescuing & accrued the benefit). I should have begun this process by skipping April forward, but took the treatments in April and June. 

The extra 3 years were a gift. But the gift does come at a very high price-- My father's good name has been disgraced by my pleading guilty to a felony. Additionally, I have to endure that suffering again. Wow. It was almost unbearable. But it will take a long time to get there. 

Of course I'm scared. Last time I had Lisa. Even after I was hospitalized she came every day and climbed right in the hospital bed and lied (laid?) with me. Except the day she brought her son. I was ready to go. But after she rescued me, I went to my parent's house, for an ending. What I got was a remedy, provided by my cousin Jackie. He came every week, providing meds that my ins used to pay $$$ (thousands) per injection for. He provided that to me on an ongoing basis until I was gifted with remicade by Dr. Fleisher. I took that for almost 2 years. And for 5 1/2 of every 8 weeks, I was clear. The other 2 1/2 weeks, only spottiness. And that never stopped Lisa's tenderness.