Still here.

Yesterday would have been Tara's 42 birthday. That hurts.

There is no path back for me. I thought I was going to get a job this week. It was so close. But then it did not happen.

It was a very meager job, like $500-$600 a month. Some how I could not even manage that.

I am so tired. I long for that eternal rest. My life was stolen from me, and I do not know how to get back to any form of a life.

The best thing is probably to just go away from everything I know, everyone I know. Disappear.