Again sitting on the end of the bed for hours

Another trip here. And more nothing. I'm wary. 

2015 ending, now what?

2015 coming to an end. I've been told (again) my services are no longer required, that I am free to pursue other interests. Inevitable, obviously. 

My other situation has taken a radical shift. Instead of my time being occupied, I am now preoccupied with the fact that it is no longer occupied. Tough. 

The walls are closing in. Those who have remained, still, are wary of me. Who can blame them? I thought it would end at the end of year P23. That time came and went. I was caught up with my child-friend. She is winding me down now. I was surprised by that. Seems she's just hanging on for one last romp through WDW in January. 

I'm trapped. These is only one solution. Only I'm not manic or depressed right now. So how can I act?

Why stretch 6 into 7

This has totally taken me by surprise. Upon return to the abusive, no supportive spouse, she has turned against me and what we were. 

I should have considered the possibility. I failed to. I guess I was too caught up in all the things I was doing for her. 

Now she has vanished. But not completely. And every time I think it is turning back, I find it is not. Yet I keep investing more in the situation. When will I cut it? I have always been good at recognizing the signs before the final event and always ready to walk.

This is not like any of those. And I did not see the signs b/c there were none. It was either an ultimatum or… idk. But here I am, being tossed about in the wind of whim. I don't need it. There was something I needed. 

This circumstance has led me to believe that when the time comes I will not be able to get what I need. It makes me sad. But I need to come to grips with it. 

And deal. And do that thing that I am so good at. Rambling. It's time to be on my way. My investment is lost. There is no good left. Only more taking. I'm sad. I mean really sad. 

I am so aware that each and every situation I am in is only temporary. I am no one's solution. I am a filler until he real problem can be addressed. I never decide when it is over. I only have had a knack for recognizing the approach of the end. This time I was surprised.

But like I said, this situation is so incomplete. And completely based on my outputs. There is no give and take. I thought I was storing up for when I had a need. But I guess it was never the case.