Oct 30, 2013 (a)

On this date, I will have been living 20 years with this disease. That is too long. It has dictates the how, what, where, when and why of my life. More so then diabetes (1997). More so than Bipolar (2009, suspected 1998). 

I can not see making it beyond that date. 

I received my last treatment of Remicade on April 29. Now I have to wait. And suffer. 

Update, 5/2013

I've made it this far. I've succeeded, I think, by setting smaller periods to make it through- April & my parent's visit was big. June & Mark's wedding is also big. After that, I feel the freedom to act at anytime. I am still searching for other reason's to continue.